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15 March 2012 @ 01:04 am
friends only.
also, you're more likely to find me on other sites.
feel free to add them.
except twitter,
be cautious. i tweet more often than not.

Current Location: Home.
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Lucky | Britney Spears
05 July 2010 @ 07:25 pm
20 April 2010 @ 08:49 pm
Take a stab at these questions about me. Let's see who my biggest stalker is!
Comments are screened.
I'll post scores and answers later.

(2 Points) My name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(3 Points) Who am I in love with:
(2 Points) Where did we meet:
(2 Points) What kind of car do I drive:
(2 Points) Where do I work:
(3 Points) What am I afraid of:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink:
(2 Points) Do I have any siblings:
(2 Points) How many:
(1 Point) Do I like 'em:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(2 Points) How many piercings do I have:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
(2 Points) What’s my favorite color:
(3 Points) Name something I hate:
(4 Points) Name a talent I have:
(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear:
(4 Points) Do I have any pets:
(2 Points) Who am I dating right now:
(5 Points) How long have I been dating them:
(5 Points) What is the color of my room:
(5 Points) What is my worst habit:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:

I'll reply with your score once it's graded.

80-85 Points; Stalker Extraordinaire!
70-79 Points; Hard-Working Stalker
40-69 Points; Decent Stalker
20-39 Points; Stalker-In-Training
11 January 2010 @ 08:12 am

I hate to say it but mornings like this just make me think about all the really shitty things my parents do, and have done, that I don't tell anybody and don't write about. It always feels terrible and never ending and I'm too lazy to finish texting the whole story, or I feel like it's getting too boring for anybody else. A lot of the time I just want to curl up and pretend life never happened, and at certain times I really wonder why I caved and bought sleeping medication.

I don't even know what to do with myself and I really don't think I want to hear about how okay it's going to be or how it'll all be fixed when I move out. It won't be.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

01 December 2009 @ 08:16 pm
There are a lot of people at ontdai_wishes who've requested holiday cards, so, to make this somewhat easier, after being inspired by andnightsgrow 's post, I've made this entry. If you'd like a card, please comment here (they're screened) with your info. It's so much easier than tracking down e-mails! This isn't just for ONTD_AI members either - it goes for anybody on my friend's list :) Even if I know you IRL and you'd like a card, I'll send you a card. If you'd like postcards during different times during the year or for other holidays or your birthday, leave that, too :D

Leave a comment with the following information. If it has a * next to it, then, obviously, that's the important information. Everything else is optional.

<b>*Preference:</b> Whatever Holiday you'd prefer. I don't want to send you a card that says Happy ______ and have you be unhappy with it :( Also, if you want more than just a holiday card, put that here, too~ Or if you want a postcard over a card, say that.
<b>Noms:</b> I bake A LOT during the holidays, so if I can swing it, I can probably send something out :)
Current Mood: busybusy
02 November 2009 @ 04:09 pm
If you're on my friend's list and not in the Cape band, don't worry about this. Scroll over it, even.

This is going to be lengthy and I'd really appreciate it if you guys took the time to read and consider this. I'm not asking to stand up and preach to you for twenty minutes during class, I'm just asking you to read this like the mature high school-er you're supposed to be.

We all know it; today was a wreck. We should not have to be called to attention over ten times. We should not be called more than once - end of story. William, junior or not, is your drum major, and there's a reason he's drum major for the second year in a row. He obviously wants to help you guys and Mr. Barbarita can see that he's good at conducting. If you guys would actually listen, we'd get so much stuff done, and we'd be able to put together really kick awesome field shows and songs. You can't blame the drum majors and your director for the lack of it - it falls back on what we, as a band, can accomplish. We can accomplish HUGE things if you put your minds to it and get the work done.

Having a new teacher, in any subject, takes time to adjust to. Mr. Barbarita is still in the process of adjusting and settling in, as are we. Are we supposed to sit back, trash the band room, play at our worst and blame other people? Hell no is your answer. We're supposed to help Mr. Barbarita, NOT talk back and act out, and help each other. The drum majors can only control so much if you don't pitch in as well. If you really don't want to be in band, just leave. You're really going to bring us down, and you already are. This isn't directed at one person; it's directed at the entire band. I'm not saying I or my friends are better, either.

The talking is atrocious. Holy. Crap. You do not need to comment on every flipping thing that happens. Just keep quiet so we can get more work done in less time, and save us all a headache. Today, my back was ready to snap in half, and the kid in front of me couldn't even stand on both legs anymore because one hurt so bad. I know someone in drum line has arthritis in his knees and he probably didn't want to be standing up for 40 minutes, either. If somebody's doing something wrong, do not yell at them across the room. Tell a drum major and they'll help that person. That's why we have three of them, so more stuff can get done when Mr. Barbarita is busy.

It's not enough to walk around and yell about how much you hate band anymore or how much you hate people. Yeah, I say it too, but I'm addressing it to certain people as well, to their faces. How do you think that makes your drum majors, director and even section leaders feel? If Christina said that to me, I'd be hugely offended. During band camp I tried my best to make sure my section had everything down, and you know what they did? They listened. I was lucky enough to have a small section so they understood me when I said "I can't make you march perfectly. You just need to watch other people and if you don't know something, you need to ask, otherwise it's going to fall apart." Everybody needs to understand that the only person responsible for your actions, is you. 

If you guys want to be respected, and earn top placements in competitions, and be the best we can be, you need to start that with yourself. I don't care if you have to listen to "Man In The Mirror" on repeat for 2 weeks - it needs to be done, and it needs to be done quick. I don't want a crappy Winter concert, and I'm only one instrument. If you don't want a crappy Winter concert, then stop complaining and start doing. Start practicing your parts, start being quiet during rehearsal, and start treating your peers, drum majors and director with respect and be polite.

Also,  a lot of you guys are disgusting. Do you know we had rats in the band room last year? Why? Because of food. If you're going to bring food into the band room, clean up. During the homecoming parade, I cleaned up all the trash from that floor. There was pizza by the drum kit, along with the box, bags of picked apart food, pieces of food on the floor, things to be recycled in the trash can, and that trash can was a quarter of the way full of bright pink juice. I picked up all that food and trash, and then threw away all the plastics into the recycling bin (which - HEY, IT'S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE BAND ROOM) and then cleaned out the trash can. I had to dump the juice and pick out soggy pizza crust and apples with my bare hands. You guys were going to leave it for the janitors to get to, or to get moldy and gross. If you all picked up your own trash, put away your own instrument, put your own chair back where you found it, then the band room would look great. Yes, it is ungodly small this year, that's how it was designed, now shut up and deal with it. It will be so much easier to deal with if you guys respected the school. A lot of money went into it. Let's save some money by taking care of it as long as we can.

I can name names and point out groups of who makes the most noise, but I won't. We all run this band, not just one person. It's only going to be good if you get in the right mindset and get your act together. A lot of you have attitude problems, and if you don't get them fixed, then do us all a favor and leave it at the door before you come in. None of us want to hear it, especially when we're trying. Also, audition music isn't something to laugh at, especially when you're too much of a sissy to go audition yourself. Just keep quiet and do what your drum major tells you to do. It really isn't hard.

If you want the honest truth, I almost dropped out of band this year. In addition to my medical problems, I was stressed out with the amount of disrespect and arrogance going around the band. I heard from flags before that, "If you guys didn't have us, you wouldn't have a field show." That mindset needs to go too. It's all of us that put time and effort into this and all of us need to be recognized for what we do. This can't be blamed on one person, or the old director and drum helpers leaving, or good musicians graduating. What's done is done and can't be undone. What we have is what we need to work with. That's the end of it.
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: Green Day - The Judge's Daughter | Powered by Last.fm
23 January 2009 @ 12:46 pm

If you were watching the news and saw a group of teenagers walking on the relfecting pool, those were Cape kidsCollapse )
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Love Story -- Taylor Swift
21 September 2008 @ 11:48 pm
I don't intend for this to sound rude, hateful or pissy in any way, but it's just what's rolling off my fingertips and I'm tired of keeping it pent up.

As much as I've held off on saying this, this probably really needs to come out: You're kind of ridiculous. Yes, you. This is ridiculous.

No, I do not want you to message/comment me via MySpace, LiveJournal or Facebook, text me, call me, send me a letter or write about me anymore. I really just want this to be over.

Why wasn't I such an important friend when you talked or wrote about me? I don't think you know enough to have a license to do that. I'm not a baby at sixteen and I'm not oblivious. Maybe it's another joke I just don't understand. Really, the whole practically becoming estranged and rather strained relationship gave me a lot of time to think on things, I guess. And I'm sorry it came down to it like this, and I can't take chances and crap like this anymore, that's just how life rolls. I realized the whole 'Talk to Sam about Avery' and 'Talk to Avery about Sam' or even Taylor thing. Isn't that "childish and immature"? It's pretty lame to try and tell people what's best for them and what they should do - obviously you can't control their lives. If you could, then there really would't be a point in human beings, and part of living is changing and maybe that's just what happened.

I really feel like this sudden jump to get me back is sketchy and weird, and it totally makes me uncomfortable and frustrated, especially at a REALLY busy time for me. You said I never gave you this 'chance' to explain yourself to me... if you wanted to desperately explain yourself that bad, you could've texted or called before it got this separated. Yeah, I know I don't take the initiative to call, but I just don't, with anyone. And that's just how I am, so if you feel the need to get upset over that, well, that's a really lame reason. Sorry I'm just too anxious to place a phone call.

It's really lame how you say you hate the "high school/middle school drama" that "Avery causes" or starts up, and you know what? I just realized that you do that stuff enough yourself. Twisting words and leaving angry voicemails and harrassment via IM or getting angry and beaten up IRL over RPGs? Not cool, dude. That girl is so amazing, you don't even know. You wronged her way too many times and I also realized I don't like having friends that disrespect my other friends or belittle them in some way, shape, or form.

"I'm going to go"/"It's best if i was left alone right now"/"I just don't want to be your friend anymore"/"This is creeping me out" are not synonymous requests to "Send me another IM and/or a text message."

So you can be upset or angry or hate me or be miserable or whatever you please, but you know how you gave me all those "tests" to see if I'd start a scene with you? I gave you a test to see how much you actually cared, and a month is a little too much time for me to believe it. That night I IMed you after you asked to talk again was just awkward. How can I start a conversation when I don't get anything to feed off of? I can't. Sorry if you're with your friends, or busy, or not in the mood, but you need to say that so I don't feel like a jackass. I really am sorry about your grandfather, but what else can I do when you just don't respond to me for 10-40 minutes? I mean, I figure I might as well give up and let you have your thoughts to yourself, I'm not gonna force anything because that's not who I am. And actually I DO know what crap like that feels like. You're not the only victim and I realize I'm guilty of wrong doing too, but I should've seen this coming a long time ago.

If it makes you happy to keep talking about me, go on ahead, because at least you've got my name in your mouth. If things just get twisted up even more, maybe it's just best to stop. I'm done with this. I'm going to go have a life now and I needed to get that out.

Like I said, if you want to go be angry or miserable over this, go ahead because I just give up and have for a while. And, as Pixie Acia said, the only way for me to fully explain how I feel is to walk you through all this step by step but you'd probably think it's bull shit. And like Fall Out Boy says, the best of us can find happiness in misery.

Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Disco -- Metro Station